Jewish Divorce
A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Norm!
All he wants is anal sex, and my a**hole is now the size of a
50 cent piece when it used to be about the size of a nickel."

Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get $2,000 a week allowance, you take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?"
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>"Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.